Where I work, people often ask me to do things they need done in the kitchen. The other day, on my way to the shower, in the shower, as I was drying myself, and as I was walking back to my room I was having fun making up such requests that make no sense. Let me see if I can do some:

'Hey Mike, I need you to spatialize that Indonesian burrito paste, we're gonna cook it off in the steam booth.'

'Hey Mike, I need you to rub my cerebral tit while I cold cock these clam baster epigrams.'

'Hey Mike, I need you to come on these monkey wafers in the dark.'

'Hey Mike, I need you to lap up that steak rind, put it in the walk-in 'bot, and dry-hump some more of those parsley beaurocrats for tonight's class war dinner.'

'Hey Mike, I need you to tuna-fold the green bass necks.'

'Hey Mike, I need you to stuff all this ground beef into my backpack PRONTO.'

'Hey Mike, I need you to fertilize the curry-stuffing before it goes out of style.'

'Hey Mike, I need you to perform a pagan ritual while I slaughter this lamb.'

'Hey Mike, I need you to put pancake batter on my leg in time for the Asshole Car Interiors Memorial Dinner and Bake-Off.'

'Hey Mike, I need you to cuddle with this ham while I thrush these artichoke chimneys.'

That was fun! How bout for you?